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The Furry Album (RPM 2009)

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by Kurrel the Raven

 

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1.
The Furry Song 2009 04:53
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2.
Not like that (in real life) 03:19
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3.
The fursuit horror 03:25
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4.
The Australian raven 07:51
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5.
The commission song 04:10
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6.
Maybe one day 03:57
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7.
Little joys 00:53
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8.
The human tail 04:01
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9.
I'm a kangaroo 03:00
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10.
A hug from Dooj 01:29
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about
The Furry Album is a lo-fi collection of songs about furries and furry-related things, ranging across bad costumes, long-distance relationships, amusing misunderstandings and commissioning pornography from irascible illustrators. It is decidedly not very serious and occasionally adult-themed, much like furries themselves.

Written, recorded and mixed in one month over February 2009 for RPM Challenge without sequencers or synthesisers. www.rpmchallenge.com
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released 25 February 2009
everything by Kurrel the Raven
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Track Name: The Furry Song 2009
Ya wanna know about furries, well I'll tell ya now

Ya come to the right bird to know what being furry is about
And ya better listen good
Or ya won't understand what must be understood

To make sense of all the ref-rences
Coming up in the songs I'll be presenting
So pay attention to this information
Here's the short version for the impatient

Furries are an Internet subculture
Who are fans of anthropomorphic animal characters
And they bring them to life in any way they can
In costumes, illustration, roleplay and animation

Anthropomorphic means like human
But not entirely quite human
So animal mascots or animal cartoons
Are the kind of characters I mean to refer to

And every furry has a character like this
A character that they identify with
And that's their furry identity
Yes that's who they are to the furry community

La la la la la la la
We're furry
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
We're furry
La la la la la la la

Listen up!

The spaces we express and share our furriness
Are on the Internet, that's where so many furries get
Together in thousands in online communities
Like Second Life, FurryMUCK or Fur Affinity

Virtual international space
And it's hard to discriminate
Nobody knows your gender or race
When you're a talking animal instead of a human face

And we have real world conventions
Like Anthrocon or Further Confusion
In the Furry Autonomous Zone
Alongside your own kind, ya know that you're not alone

When it comes to the details, we may disagree
We're as diff'rent from each other as we can be
In our interests, in our sexuality,
You may have heard the myth but this is the reality:

There's all kinds of furries,
no matter what you've heard,
We all find our own place
In the furry universe,
For some furries their space
Is kinky or perverse
But it's not always that way
'Coz furries are diverse

We are people playing pretend
That's all it is in the end
Every furry's got their own motivation
For participation in the furry congregation

La la la la la la la
We're furry
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
We're furry
La la la la la la la
Track Name: Not like that (in real life)
We met in a fetish chatroom
I don't remember which one
You were an otter, I was a bear
We had lots of fun

We hit it off almost instantly
Like tomato sauce and pizza crust
Our turn-ons matched up so perfectly
Yet it wasn't love, it was deeply kinky lust

We went deeper than we thought we could
Amazed at the kinks that we'd find
Sexed up text roleplay, all night and sometimes all day
Ah, we were two of a kind

The major cost was the sleep that was lost
To our virtual sinfulness
As we explored what only fantasy affords
Without reality's hindrance

One day we had an opportunity
To meet up face to face
You were in the neighbourhood on work I understood
So you came over to my place

Before I knew it, we were on the floor doing it
And that part I enjoyed
It was when you started inflating a balloon in my arse
That I got paranoid

It took a while before I opened my bedroom door
And you were well prepared
Dressed as an otter I found strangely familiar,
Offering me a costume that looked just like my bear

The crotchless bear made me baffled and scared
Moreso your collection of toys
There was whipped cream, helium and nitrous oxide -
You were obviously a naughty boy

I didn't know how to let you down
Without sounding like an ungrateful square
It was just that I was so astounded
By all the kinky stuff that you had in there

I said it appeared you had the wrong idea
Because that's not what I'm like
Online it's perfectly fine
But I'm not like that in real life

I said it appeared you had the wrong idea
Because that's not what I'm like
You see, online it's perfectly fine
But I'm not like this in real life
Track Name: The fursuit horror
I'm sorry, so sorry
You're so very horrid
My dearest creation
I hereby accept all the blame
Your ugliness makes me ashamed

My shudders are instant
Your design's non-existent
Your glare is persistent
Like a hungry wolf eyeing a sheep
To be brutal, you give me the creeps

If only I had the talent to make you
Exactly as in my mind's eye...
If I'd any idea of the skill it would take to
I'd never have bothered to try

Your bodysuit's baggy
But that's not what nags me,
It's how all the glue that I used
Has turned to yellow crust
Disgusting and not unlike pus

And all I could find in the store
That my budget afforded was
Fur coloured lime green and orange and puce
With the texture of old puppet pubes

It wasn't my mission to make such a travesty
Ambition and talentlessness brought calamity
The fumes from the glue on my fingers are choking me
It stings that my hubris has played this cruel joke on me

I dare not reveal you
So now I conceal you
Forgetting I left you there
You'll slowly decline
In a box with a sign
In red marker saying simply "Beware!"

For you were just practice
I'm sure that the next time
I'll know better and do it right
So please don't attack me
In nightmares I'll have about you
When I'm sleeping tonight

So now it is time
To hide you away
To put you behind me
And that's where you'll stay
There will be no photographs
To show to my friends
To give them a bellylaugh
At just how horrendous you are
Let's be honest, O Object of Wrongness, we've gone much too far
Track Name: The Australian raven
Once upon a midnight dreary, etc
(eh, close enough)
Track Name: The commission song
I used to really love your porn
But now I am completely torn
By all of your seething and scorn

If you recall I emailed you
Four months ago to ask you to
Consider depicting yours tru-ly

Ejaculating onto the posterior
Of a foxy I'd like to get to know much better
Bent over a school desk just after class
With a thick stream of yiff cream dripping out his tight foxy ass

You said okay, that's not a chore
It's something you'd drawn lots before
As long as there wasn't any gore

We made the deal, and so I sent
Your fee, which came out of my rent
My roomie made up the difference

I emailed you a reference sheet I'd commissioned
My furry persona in many sexual positions
And a naked turnaround to get you acquainted
With all my special markings, from eartip to tailtip

It was then that trouble started
How was I to know
That you and my reference sheet's artist
Had previously come to blows
She said you'd only copied
All the best art you'd drawn
And even your tracing was sloppy
So you kicked her ass when you saw her at Anthrocon

It took you many weeks to finally chill
And stop abusing me whenever I emailed
I only wanted to know when you would be done
And asking several times a day seemed better than just asking once

Eventually my commission arrived
Accompanied by instructions that I never talk to you again
As long as you remained alive

It wasn't your best work you know
For 200 dollars, I felt low
But that's okay, I'll let it go

I gave it to my special fox
At his reaction I was shocked
He got so pissed, he didn't find it hawt

Oh I meant it to say I'd like it if he yiffed me
He said that he would never ever forgive me
I said if he'd done this for me, I'd be grateful
I'd love him eternally, I sure wouldn't be hateful

He told me to take it down
Before it got around
But it was way too late
You'd already upped it to FA
And noted in the comment
"This commission made me vomit
But I really needed the money
But this is the last piece of fap fodder you'll get from me
I'm so tired of all of your shit, I'm at the end of my tether
Yeah, fuck all furries! I'm leaving the fandom forever!"
Track Name: Maybe one day
You know it doesn't seem right
How we were born in different corners of the world
A summer day for you is my winter night
And between us is a three thousand dollar twenty-six hour flight
It's hard to see the light

When am I gonna see you?
It hurts to think that you're so far away
When am I gonna be with you?
Maybe one day...

I'd feel better if I could touch you
If you were here with me
I couldn't promise that I wouldn't crush you
Our love's so strong, it hurts so much
You must feel it too
But what can we do?

I just wanna be near you
The world isn't as cold with someone to hold, they say
When am I gonna see you?
Maybe one day...

Day after day I close my eyes
And hope and dream of when we'll be together
And night after night, I imagine what it'll be like
When we're holding hands
That single moment will feel like forever
Then, eyes wide open, it's all in my imagination
And the shock of reality knocks the calmness out of me
And I'm holding back tears or crying with frustration
Your voice is near
But you're so far
And dear to my heart

Maybe it's better not to dwell
But it's impossible to think about you
Without missing you as well
I hope it's not too long to go,
I guess only time will tell

When am I gonna see you?
It hurts to think that you're so far away
When am I gonna be with you?
Maybe one day...

I just wanna be near you
The world isn't as cold with someone to hold, they say
When am I gonna see you?
Maybe one day...
Track Name: The human tail
In the air behind me is a tail
I can feel it now
Poking through the chair I'm sitting in
But I don't know how
I know it's there
In the air
Kinaesthesia argues with the physical realities
So evident to other senses
Piping up in their defences
Saying nothing's there
In the air

In the air behind me is a tail
I can feel it here
Where it comes from is a mystery
Just that much is clear
Sensation point right here behind me
Empty space to other people
Who would likely shake their heads and tell me I'm not right in mine
Even though I'm feeling fine
With my tail right there
In the air

Long ago I wished I had a tail
Wished it very much
You may say where wishes were concerned
I was out of touch
But it was what I wanted deeply
For silly whimsy, nothing creepy
Through hours spent in contemplation
Wistful with imagination
My nervous system found a way to
Grow a tail down there
In the air

Life would be quite different with a tail
Whether thick or thin
It would take some creativity to make the best of it
And if tomorrow we all had them
Would they come with stripes or spots
And would they be prehensile
So that we could hold a sandwich
Or perhaps a glass of cold ginger beer
With our tail right there
In the air

One day I should I wake up with a tail
Grown in overnight
I'll take some analgesics for the pain
If I didn't sleep on it right
Then sew some tailholes in my trousers
Try my best to not get trapped in sliding doors that slyly close
Or turn around too quickly, should I belt some unsuspecting person
Lacking derrière
Savoir-faire

Meditations on the human tail
Lead me back to now
Contemplating what this feeling means
What to think about
This strange sensation at the place
My sacrum ends and turns into my all-too-human tailbone
I guess I'll never really know
Nor have more than this song to show
Re: my tail right there in thin air
Track Name: I'm a kangaroo
I'm a kangaroo
But I'm a person just like you
I've got pointy ears and a tail
But I ride a scooter and I've got email

I work at a wildlife park
From nine 'til six
And when it gets dark
I like to hop on home
And hang out with friends or listen to the radio

The wildlife park's no fun
I lie around naked in the sun
While sunburnt tourists come to
Take hundreds of photos and click their tongues
And that disturbs my sleep
I've been woken up from too many dreams
By badly-behaved children's noisy screams
Splitting my ears like precision laser beams

Every week I get two days free
When I can go back to being me
I tend to stay at home and read if it's rainy,
Or practice playing my ukulele
And if it's sunny I'm usually busking
Strumming tunes like this one when I'm not discussing
Why I prefer ukuleles to guitars
And the main reason why I don't own a car

One day I showed up to work hungover
Lying all day half dead in the corner
They said it was my best performance yet
And that's about as kangarooish as I normally get
I bet I got stuck in and drunk absinthe again
The previous evening goaded on by my so-called friends
I spent the afternoon cursing the aniseed on my breath
And wishing for merciful death

Guys don't quite know what to make of me
Girls flirt but never want to date me
The other kangaroos are rather boring musically
So let's hear it for my ukulele

Yeah I'm a kangaroo
But I'm a person just like you
I've got paws and fur
And I read science fiction and my weekends are a blur

My friends always tease me
Whenever we go shopping, they always try to sneak
Kangaroo meat in with my curry
To make the checkout chick stare at me and worry

And I can't drive a car
My tail has put paid that so far
But without a tail I'd be half a kangaroo
And when I go dancing it's where I get my groove

I don't mind it when it's warm
But I bloody love thunderstorms
A clap of thunder is so fine
Especially when you've got ears as big as mine

I'm a macropod marsupial
I'm philosophical and musical
I'm a kangaroo and a person too